With his new film ‘Speak to Me,’ Dix Hills artist Kurt Damas hopes to shine light on men’s mental health

The grief that followed the death of artist Kurt Damas’ close friend last year changed his perspective on mental health. 

The loss he suffered was a catalyst for Damas, who also lost his uncle, to write and direct a film he hopes will help start a conversation about mental health, especially among men, he said. The film, “Speak to Me,” which will premiere at Sayville Cinemas on Feb. 16, is about two young men who must learn to navigate grief while also dealing with the stigma of opening up.

“You grow up thinking, ‘Okay, I have to be tough because I’m a man.’ And in fact, you shouldn’t be tough or sitting through the pain or whatever it is, you should be expressing those emotions,” Damas, 34, of Dix Hills, said.

Co-director, producer and co-writer Trevor Jackson, 32 — who also knew Damas’ friend Barry Ingram, who died unexpectedly at 30 — said the script highlights “the value of using your circle, your ethos, your community to find someone to speak to when you’re going through things.”

Jackson highlighted his research on mental health, especially within the African American community, while writing the film. A lot of people struggle in silence, he said. 

“A lot of times in the African American community, you hold things in, because there’s a taboo around mental health or being soft, especially for Black men,” said Jackson, of Bay Shore. “We’re holding it in, we’re not speaking to anybody about it. And that’s kind of what the film is about. Speak to me, speak to someone, about what you’re going through.” 

Men are more likely to die by suicide in the United States, although women are more likely to seek mental health care, with more than one in four women, or 28.6%, receiving mental health treatment in 2021 compared with 17.8% of men, according to the most recent statistics available from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. 

Karen Boorshtein, president and CEO of Family Service League, however, said the stigma surrounding men seeking mental health care may have eased in recent years. Both men and women seek mental health services from the Long Island nonprofit at an equal rate, she said. 

“Overall I think more and more is being done to talk about mental health,” she said, emphasizing that resources are available. “The message is, ask for help. Ask the questions of friends or relatives if you see them feeling really down to make sure they’re not going to hurt themselves.”

Melvina Ward, owner of Undertaking Alternatives, Inc. in St. James, acted as a funeral director in the film and provided the funeral home as a set. She reached out to participate after seeing a post about the film on social media.

“I just think it’s very, very important that people understand that people deal with things differently … and that there needs to be open dialogue about this,” Ward, 47, said.

Damas said he’s “blessed” to have a strong support system of friends and family on whom he can lean. 

“I’m not a psychologist or psychiatrist. But I believe that if we speak more to one another, if we’re vulnerable and open about what’s really going on, we can prevent people from going down that road of suicide,” he said.

If you are having thoughts of suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or other agencies, listed below.

Brianne Ledda covers the Town of Islip for Newsday. She previously covered Southold and Greenport for The Suffolk Times and is a graduate of Stony Brook University.